You Are (not) Here, That's Why I Love You!

Today, I got out of my bed in a bad mood. Even worse than usual.

I must have woken up at the effin f-ed up side of the bed because I'm freaking murdering my keyboard right now. ( I know I'll be sorry for this soon enough.)

It must have been the thing that I was giving thought to before I slept last night..

Hmm.. Meh. I didn't sleep that early. It must have been nearly dawn when I got to shut my eyes to snooze.

The thing is I got one of those stupid epiphanies that you know you are better off not realizing. (Like when I look at the mirror, and see a geekasaurus... I cry)

I reflected on it and found out something.

My mum loves me..
out of her sight! *black girl finger snaps*

I'll demonstrate it.

*Cue Avril Lavigne songs!*

You see, my mother doesn't talk to me when I'm at home. Well she doesn't seem to talk to me that much wherever we are actually.

Oh god.. I don't want to cry now..
(I hope you detected the sarcasm.)

I tried to recount all the times, she said "I love you" to me in my whole lifetime and that took me about half a minute.

It dawned on me, that my mum mostly said those three words to me, through the FREAKing phone.

And when I say she said "I love you", by that I mean she mumbled.. "lvyou.."

Go figure... She had sore throat.

Let us move on to another case of the same circumstances. This time though it's about lovers.

In my case, a past lover. (pshh I don't miss her!... uhm, yeah.)

She appeared cold to me when we used to get together. Basically, just when I'm in plain sight really.
(It is safe to say that nothing happened between us. Though I wished th.. Nevermind.)

Chats and Texts with her is a different story though. She was the best! She compliments and flatters me the whole time. Just like me sucking up to my (beautiful.. *barf*) math teacher, as the final exams were fast approaching.

I don't know but maybe SHE was just a freak. It's totally not ME, it was her. *sigh* I totally make bad choices with girls sometimes.

Well she had nice eyes though. Too bad..

I wonder, is it just me or do you relate on this bizarre matter aswell?

I mean, why would other people make their love for us known when we are freaking not around them?

Is it stupidity, shame or what?

If it is shame, then, I understand my mum now.
Yeah, just have me as a son.. See if you won't be humiliated.

Love has just too much complications. It freaking pisses me off.

THANK GOODNESS for hate then! It's so much more flexible and easy, yeah?

People hate on people face to face, usually. It's true! I get random people bitching on my 8 year old face everytime.

And as for distant hating, just ask your backstabbing bitter "friend." He will tell you all about loathing.. coward style!

So that is what's on my mind recently.
Don't dwell on it too hard, I say.

You can never take an angry famished guy too seriously.

Till then,
I'm off to the bank.