Ways I Lost Friends

Weird, sad, unexpected, my fault, his, whatever the reason may be it all ended the same.. one less person to call friend.

let's start shall we.

I lost a friend because (of):

1) A Girl - Simple. We liked the same girl. She can only like one of us. In the end, the girl chose, one guy was the happiest boy in the world, one was cursing the other from the bottom of his bitter heart and a friendship had gone.

2) Body Weight - When you are hanging out with the fat kid at school, it just doesn't do wonders for your popularity. I didn't know what "quality over quantity" meant back then, so I chose to have more "friends".

3) Distance - I'm sure everyone can relate to this. Some friendships aren't just mile-proof. More so if you were 8 and mobiles and emails weren't at your disposal yet.

4) Nothing - People change? They get sick of you? Whatever it is, this is the most cumbersome so far that I have encountered. There's just too many questions. Especially, if he doesn't care to even explain anymore.

5) His Sister - I told him his sister was hot without any malice intended. I got a punch as a reply. Tragic. Well he is Arab. They marry their sexy cousins.

6) Wrong Impressions - You thought he was a "chill" guy, turns out he is a pathological liar. He said he has 5 girls dying over him and a dude, all at the same time. right.

7) I graduated (Primary, that is) - Or I switched schools. Similar to the distance issue, some friends are only friends in certain places. How many "School friends" do you have?

8) Lack of Money - I was on a budget. Wasn't able to keep up with the cost of going to his whereabouts and all his antics. So He looked for a richer guy to hang with.

9) A New Cooler Guy - He started hanging out with the new guy all the time. Everybody likes a shiny new toy right? After that you are just second priority.

10) Danger - I am not the most responsible friend that you will have, that I'll admit. But I thought good friends should stick with each other through highs and lows. This guy chose to take flight the very first sign of it. *puke* Courageous! ;)

Well.

It's true what they say. They come and they go. But some sticks around longer than you expect. Don't take them for granted.

How Black African People Survive.

Let me just start this post by saying I was inspired by my blogger friends' racial posts. (apparently, this kind of posts is a big traffic magnet)

So I chose the african people to target. I imagined all these crazy things in my head that keeps them alive, atleast in my head.

So without further ado. My first racist POST (Ha!)

1) A Black man can still provide shelter for his family,
with his BONER. Instant tent for the whole lot.

2) That also means HIS wife doesn't go hungry. hmmmm.. Protein.

3) (Fact) Watermelons originated in Africa.(End of fact) That's why they survive, enough said.

4) It's true. They are all olympic runners.
If not, how the hell will they survive all those lions?

5) If single men needs to "release tension," they don't need to pay for prostitutes.
They have monkeys.

6)No roads, means no cars, means no run-overs, means NO dead people.

7) They don't get crazy lunatic immigrants like that asian dude from the virginia tech. debacle.
I mean who would really want to migrate there anyways.

(Oops, is it too early to make a joke about that? GET OVER IT)

8)They await their next human sacrifice for their Gods. But that also means their next meal. Never waste any (possible) food, as we all say.

9) They don't have rappers there. Hence, no shootings and gang wars.


With all these said reasons. A lot of people still think they are helpless and vulnerable. I say BULL! Some people are just too helpful for their own good.

So that's why we now come to the last reason.

10) They FREAKING get help from organizations from around the globe!

As if they are not doing well on their own already.

****

Do you think I forgot other ways in which the african people survive?

Do tell me through comments? WAAAATTTEEEERMELON!

Till then.

How to Be Emo, Effectively.

Here's MY guideline to be EMO successfully.

1) Never have Lady Gaga in your music collection. Stick to MCR and their teenage propaganda bull songs.

NO matter how catchy that bitch's tunes are, stand you ground. Resist her sexy po-po-po-poker FACE.

2) DOn't be Russian.

You will be too blonde for your own good.

3) A compass and a blade should be your best friends.

IF you don't get along with them, and think they are too HURTFUL. Get a red pen.

4) Never chat with people..

unless the topic is about death, loneliness or that drag queen guy from TOKIO HOTEL.

5) Always say "No one understands me!" when people argue with you.

After you say that, walk out of the room and cry.

6) BOMBARD the interweb with black-clothed and "guy liner-ed" pictures of yourself.

Don't forget your signature POUT in all those photos. POUT more!

7) Eat less often.

Nothing says you want to DIE more than visible bones right?

8) THe more eyes you cover, the better.

No self-respecting emo person will let others see through the windows of his soul.

9) Be Gay!

No, NOT happy ofcourse! We are talking girl jeans and make up.

and Lastly

10) Write a better self-destructive and angry poem than this:

"I never thought life would be,
so much pain and misery.
I just dont believe in anybody
anymore .
Why should my deepest aim
just go in vain.
Whenever I see you,
whenever I feel you.
My heart goes tearing apart
as if satan plays his gothic art
to ever and after love you more than anyone I've ever known"

by I'm-So-EuropeAnonymous.

(MY emo-wannabe FRIEND will kill me now XD)

Follow these rules and you will lead a prosperous LONELY life :)

Till then.

P.S. - Do cuts vertically rather than horizontally. It's more lethal! WORD.